yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your penis caused this!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
