so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
