It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
