My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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