I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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