We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
