you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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