Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
