do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there's paper in my vomit.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize