you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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