What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
