Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
