Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
