Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
