2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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