I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
