You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
