Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
