and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
