Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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