so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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