There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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