You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
