I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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