haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
