He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
