I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
