Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
high people should be assigned attendants
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
