I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm like, not good at living.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
