I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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