Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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