You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
