I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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