Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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