Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
