Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
