hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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