it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
