Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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