He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
