Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
