Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
