I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
