I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
