If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
