the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize