My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
