i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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