Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
