Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
