we have officially lost it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
