OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
