He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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