I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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