her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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