I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
