yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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