You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
