can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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