He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Pants are for mortals
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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