Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
