OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
