Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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