I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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