hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
