Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Holy shit dude........stairs
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
