the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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