Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
