I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
