Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
