i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
