Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
