Please, let me fuck your mom
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
