Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
