Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
