Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
