Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
