is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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