My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
