I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
