Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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