The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
